Order of Operations

Moving on.

 I've been thinking of doing this since January of this year, but I haven't actually gotten around to making the official switch until just now:

I'm retiring this particular journal account.  It's seen me through some of the hardest and strangest times in my life, and so I'm not deleting it.  I'll keep it up as a tribute and an archive of my own growth, but I won't be using it anymore.  

I know there are a lot of names and people who watch me here, but kind of linger in the background.  If you're still interested in keeping an eye on me, please DO go to aetherbox and leave a comment, and I'll friend you there.  Comments'll be screened for privacy purposes. I won't be burned if a lot of names fall away, but this is just...kinda where I'm at right now.  Call it rebuilding from scratch. *grins* 

Order of Operations

The Day My Butt Went Psycho - A review.

 Dedicated to my dearest frienemy, cranedance , who inflicted this book upon hobbitdragon as some form of demented joke for Christmas, without having read the thing in its entirety.  Darling, you ought to be ashamed of yourself.

I shall begin with a gentle overview of what passes for this abomination's cover. Vertically juxtaposed, a bald cartoon faces off with the rounded cheeks of his own rectum, as a psychedelic green and gray spiral swirls in the background.  "Best-selling author Andy Griffiths" the book proclaims, along with the title.  On the back, a yellow and pink theme permeates as the main character once again squares off with his hindquarters, which have sprouted arms and legs.  "An epic tale of one brave boy and his crazy, runaway butt," the tag-line announces, but refuses to stop there.  "Can Zack save the earth from butts gone berserk? Can he defeat the biggest, ugliest, meanest butt the world has ever seen? More important - will Zack and his butt ever find true happiness?  It's an adventure you and your butt will never forget!"


Collapse )


*clears throat* Crane....what did we ever do to you?  Moreover, what did Dean ever do to you? This book managed to pretzel -ME- in a few places, and you SPENT MONEY TO PURCHASE AND SEND THIS BOOK TO HIM?  ....I mean sure, HE was smart enough not to read it, but this level of DO NOT WANT is -dangerous-, all the same.  Like, on the level of toxic seepage.  This is like giving someone dangerous quantities of Uranium for Christmas, dude! Come on, at least test the WHOLE product before assaulting the rest of us!  I'm a seasoned atrocity tourist, and this makes the thing with the carebear bondage brutal monsterfuck look CUTE!

  • Current Music
    Hot Mess - Cobra Starship
  • Tags
Order of Operations

2009 in a Nutshell.

Recap: On Dec. 30, 2005, I got the bright idea to sum up the entire year in twelve songs and twelve paragraphs, one for every month I lived through. I'm moving 2009's synopsis up to Dec. 23, because it's about time I did something new. And, because I really didn't keep a lot of journals, I'm going to try and think back to what all I DID do this year.  I have a lot of IM logs I can fish through, but this, is a rough of what I did.

Collapse )

I'm still picking through the wreckage, and I'm probably missing some parts, but bits and pieces are coming back together, and it already fits better than before.
Order of Operations

List Du Jour

Shit I need to get done ASAP:

* Flash Fiction for Narrative Image (Getting there...)

* Accompanying Image for Flash Fiction (Getting there...)

* Tighten my Drum! (Probably going to do that after the post!)

* Doctor's Appointment
* Congratulate my Brother on making it through another pass around the sun
* Prescription for Glasses (HOLY SHIT I CAN SEE!)

* "Life Story" Project for Illustration Studio, Self Portrait at age 5
* "Life Story" Project for Illustration Studio, Self Portrait at age 10
* "Life Story" Project for Illustration Studio, Self Portrait at age 15
* "Life Story" Project for Illustration Studio, Self Portrait at age 20
* "Life Story" Project for Illustration Studio, Self Portrait at age 25*

* Figure something out for Visual Journal I -haven't- been keeping all term

(*Well, 25 in February. But it still flies, because I've been operating under the weird assumption of being 25 all year.)

Shit I need to get done at some point soonish:

* Oh yeah, that Holidays thing. I should get on that
* Buy printer ink for my poor, long suffering Lexmark
* Somniac's commission! (Well on its way...)
* ...Uh, and lots of stuff I'm probably not thinking of yet! 8D

  • Current Music
    blumchen - Bicycle race
Order of Operations



I woke up at a reasonable hour, left my bed, MADE my bed, made tea. Took a shower, brushed my teeth, put on new clothes, and smiled at the guy I saw in the mirror. He had hilarious bedhead, but he smiled back. A few days ago, I cleaned my apartment to the point where it looked like someone else lives here. I threw out a metric assload of stuff I no longer need, and I know where absolutely everything I own is.

I spent a few hours writing and drawing for my Monday Class's final project until I went to my therapy session. I'm proud of how it's coming out, and I'm already thinking ahead to projects I want to do.

I came back home briefly to fetch the drum I made for my Math Class's 'Gateway Drum' project, and we had our first drumming circle. I have blisters on my fingers and my palms are glowing. I kinda want to get out my broom and see if I can't get it tighter. It's a simple pine ashiko drum, and I made it with my own hands.

And then I came back home and drew some more. My pants are covered in pastel dust and my hands are stained with ink.

...I had a good day. This happens rarely enough that it merits recording. I don't want to jinx it, but...I feel like I'm Back. And I'm okay. I'm honest to god okay.

I'll provide a bigger update soon, but right now?

  • Current Music
    Angelique Kidjo - Mysterious Ways
Order of Operations

And life got busy again.

Wednesday: Hung out with

dmarling 's friend Kenny, his friend, and[info]anonymous_bosh , fleeing the boiling heat of Portland and retreating to a lovely swimming spot which, while somewhat of a climb down, was worth the effort, and basically spent the day running around naked.  Always a win situation, in my humble opinion.  Also watched Young Einstein, and realizing to my amusement that I probably don't even need to write Maven: Yahoo Serious already beat me to several different character archetypes back in the eighties.  Darn Aussies! XD


Thursday: Stayed with dmarling and [info]anonymous_bosh because I didn't want to broil alive in my own apartment, which is situated above a restaurant kitchen and faces the sunrise, with all windows on one side of the space, preventing ventilation unless you're willing to keep the door wide open.  One of these days I know I braved that place to do laundry, laying all of my wet clothing out to dry on the floor with startling success, and said hello to all of my neighbors, who were out on the front stoop with a sprinkler going and lots of cold beer.  We met up with some of Rah's fans at a coffee joint, and the encounter was lovely but for a man with a chemical imbalance who tried to impart upon us the meaning of the universe through movies.  


Friday: Stayed the night at Rah and Dean's again, woke up early so I could be picked up by my family and take the trek down to the family reunion.  Drove down with cousins, napped in car, was a little disappointed that my brother wasn't present due to it being fire season, and he's a firefighter, but he showed up after dinner covered in soot, and apparently he's good to stay, because he's still here.  Went fly-fishing with him and older cousin Alex, which was fantastic. Only one tiny trout caught, and No Bats....though the low-fliers did try to steal the bait off the lines as they arced through the air. Lovely seeing grandma and grandpa again, stayed up late talking to grandpa again.

Saturday: Woke up earlier than I usually do, but I'm still kinda exhausted thanks to the heat in Portland making it impossible to get decent sleep, so I napped through most of the day.  Feel a lot more awake, and a lot cooler.  More cousins arrived and the house got stocked in preparation for more relatives to come down in the next couple days. AND OH BY THE WAY EPIC THUNDERSTORM OF DOOM THAT KNOCKED OUT INTERNET FOR SEVERAL HOURS.


Life, is good.  Will update as I can, as I usually do for Family reunions...but I think this year I'd like to actually try being a part of everything, instead of out on the margins.

Order of Operations

Game Over - Play Again?

10 - Times I've attempted to write a journal entry and gave up.

9 - People I feel extremely guilty about being Hot and Cold to in the past 2 years, who I KNOW are burned about it..

8 - Posts I've made to this journal this year, including this one.

7 - Years I spent in a relationship with Hunter.

6 - Years, roughly, I've spent using this journal.

5 - Years I've pursued college full-time.

4 - Months it's been since I've written in this journal.

3 - Places I'd be most likely to walk to at this point in my life when desperately needing company.

2 - Number of years I've spent at PNCA. 

1 - Number of years worth of entries I've made in this journal, including this one.

*Siiiiiiigh* Well. Life Keeps Happening.  Looking back is an exercise in feeling overwhelmed and implacably disturbed and upset at past events years after they took place, looking at the present is a jumble of good and bad; I've been an excellent friend to some, and not so excellent to others.  I've been highly productive and excited about my own personal projects, but for everything that gets nailed down, naturally there's something that springs up out of the mold, and I'm nervous about classes next term. I really, really, don't want to suck AS HARD as I did last term.  Passing's great, acknowledgment of talent is great...clawing myself up out of my own slumps and persevering is better than great.

I'm a sketch in progress and man am I messy.  I don't even know which lines to erase, because I'm still too busy fiddling with details and finding gross errors.  Leaving off, coming back, fiddling, leaving off again.  *laughs* and maybe, I'm one of those works that never do get off the ground, regardless of how bright the initial spark was that set me down on paper for the first time.  They say art is never finished, just abandoned. 

I feel a little like the Yakov Smirnoff re-interpretation: "In Soviet HURF DURF, Art abandons YOU!" 

Then again, I haven't had sleep, just got back online after hanging out in the Colony of Epic and Awesome Distraction, doing laundry and organizing my living space, which does tend to stir up the pot a little.

I feel supremely unsure of myself.  And it's awkward and embarrassing to unpack one's issues and make a spectacle of oneself, and so I've been conducting myself as well as I can.  But, there's an advantage in this at least: feeling unsure means I'm more open to the world around me. It's kinda hard not to have an amped-up awareness when you're trying to find solid ground.

And, while I'm at it:

Things that are Happening that may make me blink off the planet:

Rah and Dean, Living in the same city!

Maven, Being Ever-Present and Written out and Comicked!

July 31st to August 9th - Family Reunion!

August 14th to August 19th - Fish Visits!

August 17th to August 22nd - Wagner's Ring Cycle at the Seattle Opera House!

August 31 - A Brave New Term: 11AM to 6PM, Narrative Image on Mondays, 6:30 to 9:15PM Math on Tuesdays, 11AM to 9:15PM Illustration Studio and Literary Seminar: Films from the 50's on Wednesdays.

That's about all for now.

  • Current Music
    Gigi D'Agostino - Welfare
Order of Operations

Raging Temperatures versus the Internet.

C: Would so eat Jimmy Urine for breakfast.

G: ....enh, I think I'd have more fun just listening to the jackass talk.

C: Fair 'nuff.

G: what with the whole "talent doesn't equal good in bed" thing, and the whole "Happily married" deal.

C: Dude, you're getting in the way of my rich inner fantasy life.

G: Hey, hard facts doesn't undermine the fact that he's hilarious fun to watch!

C: You speak of this world. I speak of a world in which random people are offered rock musicians for breakfast. This world and that world are not actually related.

G: Yes well....if I didn't have a fever I still think I'd just take some orange juice over skeeny Seenger Tushy.  Not that both aren't, hypothetically speaking, edible and delectable, but the former is bound to offer better nutrition in the long run.  One must after all, be practical.

C: One is not required to choose one over the other. Though acids being what they are, you might want to put the OJ later in the meal.  After all, one can have scrapple AND bacon, or fruit salad AND cold pizza.

G: Yes, but we are discussing a singer and squeezed Citrus.  Annnnnd now I have the mental image of pouring OJ over Jimmy Urine and him screaming like a little girl and thrashing.

C: It's a little-known fact that musicians are like slugs, except with citrus juices instead of salt.

C: One can also have OJ and Jimmy Urine.  Jimmy Urine always is in possession of himself, and no doubt occasionally partakes of OJ.

G: ....But the question remains...Would OJ's glove still fail to fit? Or would he just switch to latex? More sanitary, I imagine.

C: Gloves always fit. That business about them being "too small" is just a ploy to do the deed gloveless.

G: Which leads us back to why I would probably not have Jimmy Urine for Breakfast. I'm not sure where he's been!

C: But if he wears a glove...and you two don't share a fork...

G: Tell you what. OJ can have Jimmy Urine, I think I'll just have cereal.

C: That seems unnecessarily cruel to Jimmy Urine. Can't you hand him off to someone more like Tracey Ullman?

G: He's the one who opted to become someone's Breakfast! What he does in someone else's bowl of cheerios is his business, not mine!

C: Perhaps there was a signup sheet--like getting a room at college. He asked for a non-smoker who was a morning person, got a smoker who stayed up until 5 a.m. playing WoW. He would have a right to complain.

G: Well, if you didn't finish him first before OJ clambered his way out the fridge, maybe.

C: I do not have OJ in my fridge. The contents are far more sentient than that.

G: ....why do we always have these conversations when I'm sick?


Well, it's nice to know there are states in which I have even LESS cohesion than usual. *Chuckles and crawls back into bed*

  • Current Music
    Mindless Self Indulgence - Mark David Chapman
Order of Operations

The Obligatory Overview of 2008

For those who do not know the drill, I have written small reflections at the closing of the year since 2005...and while it never tells me anything new, I find it helps me focus and regroup before embarking on another trip around the sun.

Collapse )

*sigh* We create our own Karma...This year was a feat of strength, and it was also completely worth the effort. In retrospect, I took a lot of risks and had a blast. I hope to do even more of the same next year...after a good nap and some rest. I keep getting cranky, and it makes me do stupid things I regret later. I also learned how bad I am at managing my own time, and while I was very productive, I found it very easy to lose focus and let myself get derailed...and neglect things, or stress out about neglecting things I could have figured out and approached with far more grace had I plotted things out.

  • Current Music
    Calle 13 ft. Orishas - Me Voy Pal Norte
  • Tags