G: ....enh, I think I'd have more fun just listening to the jackass talk.
C: Fair 'nuff.
G: what with the whole "talent doesn't equal good in bed" thing, and the whole "Happily married" deal.
C: Dude, you're getting in the way of my rich inner fantasy life.
G: Hey, hard facts doesn't undermine the fact that he's hilarious fun to watch!
C: You speak of this world. I speak of a world in which random people are offered rock musicians for breakfast. This world and that world are not actually related.
G: Yes well....if I didn't have a fever I still think I'd just take some orange juice over skeeny Seenger Tushy. Not that both aren't, hypothetically speaking, edible and delectable, but the former is bound to offer better nutrition in the long run. One must after all, be practical.
C: One is not required to choose one over the other. Though acids being what they are, you might want to put the OJ later in the meal. After all, one can have scrapple AND bacon, or fruit salad AND cold pizza.
G: Yes, but we are discussing a singer and squeezed Citrus. Annnnnd now I have the mental image of pouring OJ over Jimmy Urine and him screaming like a little girl and thrashing.
C: It's a little-known fact that musicians are like slugs, except with citrus juices instead of salt.
C: One can also have OJ and Jimmy Urine. Jimmy Urine always is in possession of himself, and no doubt occasionally partakes of OJ.
G: ....But the question remains...Would OJ's glove still fail to fit? Or would he just switch to latex? More sanitary, I imagine.
C: Gloves always fit. That business about them being "too small" is just a ploy to do the deed gloveless.
G: Which leads us back to why I would probably not have Jimmy Urine for Breakfast. I'm not sure where he's been!
C: But if he wears a glove...and you two don't share a fork...
G: Tell you what. OJ can have Jimmy Urine, I think I'll just have cereal.
C: That seems unnecessarily cruel to Jimmy Urine. Can't you hand him off to someone more like Tracey Ullman?
G: He's the one who opted to become someone's Breakfast! What he does in someone else's bowl of cheerios is his business, not mine!
C: Perhaps there was a signup sheet--like getting a room at college. He asked for a non-smoker who was a morning person, got a smoker who stayed up until 5 a.m. playing WoW. He would have a right to complain.
G: Well, if you didn't finish him first before OJ clambered his way out the fridge, maybe.
C: I do not have OJ in my fridge. The contents are far more sentient than that.
G: ....why do we always have these conversations when I'm sick?
Well, it's nice to know there are states in which I have even LESS cohesion than usual. *Chuckles and crawls back into bed*